Organizing with Hellen

Oh, the things that we keep.

The other day, I found myself in our storage room, digging through bins and boxes. I was in the mood to get rid of stuff, in my on-going effort to create more breathing space down there (I admit – it’s an obsession). Although I was tempted to go through the kids’ boxes, I knew better than to do it without them. I had to take a hard look at my own stuff.

Take baby steps:

Over the last few decades, I have whittled my own memorabilia down to just one medium-sized box. It’s been a process (I started with several), and letting go has become easier from one year to the next. Now it was time to reduce the keep-sakes so they would fit into a small, more manageable container.

Enjoy reminiscing:

Part of what I enjoy about the decluttering process is revisiting the past. It’s funny how we forget things. Like the comments teachers wrote on our college assignments (“with some structured instruction, you could become a brilliant writer” – I think that was meant as a compliment). Or what our high school friends wrote in our yearbooks (“to a most inventive, original, gutsy girl” – I never saw myself that way).

These can give us clues about our talents and attributes. They’re a way of excavating our true self – the person who perhaps got buried under responsibilities, a real job and a mortgage. That’s probably why it’s taken me so many years to whittle down my mementos.

But when the time comes to go to a retirement home, (hopefully many, many years from now), I don’t want to be dragging along Rubbermaids full of my past. By then, I plan to have streamlined my container to just one small shoe box.

Overcoming fear:

So here’s what I did – maybe it will give you some ideas if you’re tackling your memorabilia stacks soon. I had several plaques awarded to me for past accomplishments in high school (like getting the highest mark in Marketing 101). They were bulky and heavy. So I photographed them and then tossed them. I felt a small pang of fear, I won’t lie. Accomplishment is one of my top values, and one of my biggest attachments.

But when that voice inside my head said “if you toss them, you won’t have any proof left of how smart you were”, I rebutted “oh yes I will, because I’ll have the pictures of my certificates in a folder on my computer, and I can look at them any time I want, without having to go in the basement and dig through the bin – so there!” (I’m very long-winded when I talk to myself).

Try this simple trick:

This simple step, of photographing bulky items and then tossing them, allowed me to reduce my things to fit the smaller container. Mission accomplished.

Here’s another tip:

When I was in high school, I was into buttons. Not the sewing kind – the kind you pin to your shirt with a message on it. I had accumulated quite a collection. Rather than keep them all, I decided to just keep a few that brought back fond memories – like the one I bought at my first concert. Do you have any collections? You don’t need to keep the entire collection – just pick your favorites.

Decluttering will make everyone’s life easier:

What are you most attached to from your past? It’s okay to keep some of that stuff, especially since it probably ties into your values. But if you can take some small steps towards reducing the volume, you can make space for more current, relevant stuff. And it won’t be such an ordeal when you want to revisit the good old days – just open a digital file or photo album.

Also, when it comes time to exit this life, wouldn’t it be comforting to know you’re leaving enough to be remembered by, but not so much that it burdens those you leave behind? A little morbid I know, but as a professional organizer, I have seen families agonize over what to do with this ‘inherited clutter’ – which is especially overwhelming while they are grieving.

Decluttering is not just an act of self-care; it’s an act of love towards those closest to you.

So if you can’t do it for yourself, do it for your loved ones.

Have you ever tried to edit your memorabilia? How did it go? Let me know your thoughts by commenting below.

There’s been a lot of talk about ‘juicing’ lately. Probably because it’s that time of year – we are faced with the aftermath of overindulging during the holidays.

Although it’s been around a long time, I didn’t know much about ‘juicing’. Since there’s been so much buzz around it lately, I decided to look it up. Basically, it’s a form of fasting to cleanse the body. You extract the juice from fruits and vegetables and replace your meals with these drinks over a couple of days or more.

The outcome is your body eliminates the wastes (old or dead cells) while building new tissues. As a result, you look and feel alot better.

It got me thinking that this is very similar to decluttering.

After the excess of the holidays –new gifts, gadgets and treats added to what we already had – many people feel lethargic, anxious, even depressed. A juice cleanse gives us more energy and improves our well-being; clearing the clutter from our homes will do the same. As you eliminate the old stuff, you will make space to enjoy the new.

Starting a juice cleanse takes preparation; not only mental but also physical. You need to go out and get supplies – the celery, cucumber and fennel. And if you don’t have one, you’ll do some research and buy a decent juicer or blender.

So you won’t be able to start a juicing program without some advance planning.

It’s the same with decluttering. You’ll need garbage bags and boxes to sort and discard items. Don’t expect to jump right in. Choose a date to start the decluttering, maybe in a few days or a week, then put aside some time before that date to gather everything you need.

As with any change in our diet, it’s a good idea to consult a doctor for advice before starting a juicing program. With decluttering, seeking the advice and support of a professional organizer will make the process flow more smoothly too. For example, most professional organizers will advise you not to purchase bins, baskets and containers until after the sort and purge – otherwise, these become part of the clutter problem.

The only obstacle left to deal with is fear. With juicing, perhaps it’s “What if I’m starving and I can’t handle it?” With decluttering, it may be “What if I get rid of something I might need later?” Don’t let this fear interfere with your goal.

I’m not going to lie. The process is not easy or comfortable. And it’ll be time consuming. But it’s mind over matter. If you decide you are ready to do this, and you focus on the outcome – how great you are going to feel – you can do it! (I’m talking about decluttering here but I got the same advice about juicing). And if you need some help, don’t be afraid to ask for it.

P.S. Okay, so I haven’t tried juicing yet but I’m working my way towards it. Any advice from those who have tried it?

“Help, I’m neat, but they’re messy!” Ever wonder how to get those you live with to pick up after themselves?

A common question I get is, “How do I make my spouse (boyfriend, girlfriend, children, roommates, coworkers) get organized?” The question is asked by caring, well-meaning, tidy folks. This is why I decided to write about it. 

The short answer is that you can’t make anyone get organized. Much like you can’t force anyone to lose weight, stop spending money or quit smoking. And you shouldn’t. They will change only if they really want to.

But, not to worry, there are ways you can help.

First, here’s what not to do:

You might think it’s easier to just organize their space without them, and get rid of their things. I know it’s tempting, but don’t do it. Murphy’s Law says that they will suddenly go looking for the very things you got rid of, even though haven’t used them in years. It can damage the relationship and, for some people, it can cause mental anguish which may lead to further disorganization.

Here are some things you can try that may help:

1. “Be the change you want to see in the world”. – Mahatma Gandhi

Organize your own things first, even in shared spaces (i.e. your side of the closet). Take your cast-offs to charity. Use simple methods to stay organized. Model the behavior you want to see in your mate. Set an example for your kids. When they see how much smoother your life flows as a result, it may inspire them to follow.

2. Request Cooperation.

Open the lines of communication. By that, I don’t mean nagging, ridiculing, bribing or criticizing. (Not that any of you would do that).

Keep in mind that being organizing is not about how it looks, it’s about how it works. Everyone’s idea of ‘organized’ will be different. If you have to work/live together, it’s important to find common ground – a place that is comfortable for everyone. Share what it means to you to have an organized space. Then, ask your mate, and listen to his/her response without judgment.

3. Point out the benefits.

Help them determine how organizing will benefit them. This is where their motivation will come from. (We all need motivation to sustain us until new behaviors become habits). But rather than focusing on what seems like an obvious benefit (i.e. you can find what you need easily and quickly), look at the big picture and tie it to something they value. For example, more time for family and friends, improved health and well-being, saving money, or less chaos and more peace of mind.

4. Hold their hand.

Together, come up with a plan. Ask them for suggestions on what systems can be set up or adjusted to suit their natural way of doing things. If you’re not sure how to set up systems based on a person’s learning style, I cover this topic extensively in my book, Organizing Outside the Box: Conquer Clutter using Your Natural Learning Style.

Encourage and support them. Keep them company while they sort. Offer to drive the giveaways to charity.

Be patient. They will not change their habits overnight. Praise even the baby steps. It’s a much more effective way to reinforce behavior.

5. Seek support.

Sometimes, the sorting and purging process can cause friction between people who live together. This is not unusual because there is a lot of emotion tied into our stuff. Bringing in an impartial third party can help. Only if your mate is ready and wants to get organized, consider hiring a professional organizer. We have the know-how and experience to help anyone who truly wants to get organized.

Have you tried before to get someone in your life organized?

How did it go? Please share what worked and what didn’t in the comment section below.

The start of a new year seems to trigger us to evaluate our lives and consider whether we are doing what we were put on this earth to do.

Everybody has a calling – absolutely everybody – and it doesn’t have to be earth-shatteringly extraordinary. Not all callings will make you rich, famous or even popular.

In fact, a purposeful life can often be about doing small, simple, seemingly insignificant things. But never underestimate the difference you can make.

There’s a man in his seventies I often see when I’m out walking in my neighborhood. Although I’ve never had a conversation with him, I know he is clear on his purpose. He picks up litter and puts it in the garbage can, making the neighborhood a nicer place to live. He takes bottles out of the garbage and takes them to be recycled. (I wouldn’t be surprised if he donates the money to charity.)

The other day, I saw him pick up a rolled-up newspaper from the curb and toss it towards the front door of the home, making life a little easier for the person who lives there.

He doesn’t get paid for the work his calling creates, at least not in cash. But I imagine it gives him a reason to get out of bed in the morning and brings meaning to his life. He is making a difference in the community in his own way, which makes an impact on the world in some small way.

His life matters. And so does yours.

How to Uncover Your Purpose:

Our calling is usually right under our noses. But we may not recognize it as a calling or a purpose because of our idealistic expectations. For many, it’s to be a mother (probably the most important calling). For some, it’s simply to make life easier for others in some small way. For a select few, it may be to develop technology that changes the world.

Although I can’t tell you what your calling is, I can say for sure that when you follow it, you will feel fulfilled, energetic and excited about how you spend your days.

I feel blessed to have found my calling, which is to teach others how to make their life easier and more fulfilling. What do you think your calling or purpose might be? Hint: it often shows up in the things you are already doing just for the pleasure of it.

Use the comment section below to let me know what you think your purpose or calling is, or to share your thoughts about this post. I always love getting your feedback.

The uncertain economy has caused us to become more budget conscious. One positive aspect of this shift is that we are buying more consciously and less impulsively. We are making serious efforts to reuse what we already have. This will impact our planet in a powerful way, reducing waste in the landfills and clutter in our homes. That is certainly something to look forward to, but in the meantime, many households are packed with items accumulated over the last few decades. The good news is that there are simple ways to cut clutter and save money in the process.

Use what you have.

Storage solutions don’t have to be expensive; just get creative. Before rushing out to buy bins and baskets, look around your home for containers you can re-purpose.

• Egg cartons or ice cube trays can be used to organize earring sets, cufflinks, or hair accessories.
• Plastic baby wipes containers stack easily on a shelf and can be used to store crayons, markers, first aid materials or sewing supplies.
• Baby food or mason jars can be used to keep touch-up paint, spare buttons or screws and nails.
• A mug holder can be re-purposed into a scarf or baseball hat holder.
• Empty tissue boxes can hold plastic grocery bags or, with the top cut off, packets of gravy and instant soup.

Re-purposed Tissue Box

• The large clear plastic container that you buy pre-washed salad in is perfect for storing special occasion shoes, keeping them visible yet dust-free. They are also useful for storing yarn and other craft supplies by color; the clear boxes let you see your materials at a glance and they look attractive on a shelf.
• Zip bags can be used to organize the contents of your drawers by storing like with like. Place elastic bands in one bag, cotton swabs in another. Use them for band-aids, cosmetic sponges, and bobby pins. Items remain sorted, clean and dust-free, and you can see the contents clearly.
• Cardboard tubes left over from gift wrapping or paper towel rolls can be placed inside boots to keep them upright.
• Old cassette cases can be used to store USB cords or earphone.

For more smart storage ideas:

Corral coin clutter.

Do you have loose change in every part of your home, from your junk drawer to the kitchen counter? Grab a clear jar and label it ‘fun funds’. Now you have a designated place to deposit those coins, both reducing clutter and creating a little nest egg. Once the jar is filled, treat yourself to a small indulgence and then begin again. You might even want to create individual ‘fun fund’ jars for each family member to encourage saving while cutting coin clutter.

Why buy when you can rent or borrow?

The next time you need something, rather than automatically driving to the store to purchase it, take a moment to consider a less-expensive, clutter-free alternative. Try a rental store, a library, or ask friends/family to borrow the item. That way, you don’t have to store it forever.

Save the trees.

Want to reduce the amount of paper piling up in your office, and save trees and money as well? Pull the paper out of your printer and store it in a file folder across the room. Although this may seem counter-productive, you will actually be saving time in the long run. By making it less convenient to print, you will begin to print more consciously and less often. As a result, you’ll have fewer papers to pile, sort through and file later, and you’ll spend less money on print cartridges and paper.

Dress for less.

Before you go shopping, eliminate the clothes you don’t wear to make room for new additions to your wardrobe. Use the one/in one/out rule: for every item you bring home, let go of one. You will spend less because you’ll know what you already have. You can buy clothes that co-ordinate with existing items, which will stretch your wardrobe. And you will be able to get dressed faster because there will be fewer decisions to make.

Go on a non-shopping spree.

If you can’t seem to go to the store without bringing something home, even if you don’t need the item, perhaps it’s time to take a break from shopping. For the next three months, go on a consumer diet; challenge yourself to buy only the necessities. Not only will you be saving money but excess things won’t be accumulating and you may actually find you feel better in your space.

Have that garage sale.

Have you been saving items in the garage or basement for years with the intention of having a garage sale, but never seem to get around to it? Pull out your calendar today and book a definite date to have it in the spring or early summer. Blocking the time now increases the likelihood of following through with it later.

Getting organized doesn’t have to be costly. Implementing these ideas will not only help you save money, it will prevent you from wasting it.

Do you have any tips to share on re-purposing items in your home for storage? Please share in the comments below.

What types of items are you most attracted and attached to? You keep buying these things, even though you already have so many. And you just can’t bring yourself to get rid of any of them.

We are defined by our stuff.

In just about every home I’ve decluttered and organized, I have discovered one or two types of items that clients accumulate, and those items are different for everyone. But it does give me a quick snapshot of what each client values most. Let me give you some examples you might relate to:

• Are you attached to books? Then you are not alone – this is a popular one. Many of my clients have amassed 1,000 books or more. For most, books represent knowledge; book collectors love to learn and want quick access to information.

• Are you attached to your children’s toys, baby clothes and school artwork, even though the kids have out-grown them? This is very common. Holding on to these things can indicate that you attach great value to your identity as a mom/dad.

• Are you attached to things from your early days, like your high school varsity jacket, your prom dress or your old record collection? This could represent a longing for simpler times with fewer responsibilities and obligations.

• Are you attached to your trophies, awards and other forms of accolades you’ve received? (I can certainly relate to this one). It often means you value approval, accomplishment and credibility.

I could go on and on, as I find this so fascinating and revealing. If you didn’t see your group of items in the examples above, let me know by commenting below, and I’ll respond with my thoughts.

Our stuff defines important moments in our lives and the reason we get emotionally attached to it is probably because of the memory connected to it. Gaining insight into why we continue to buy and keep certain things can be very helpful because awareness is often the first step towards change.

Don’t get me wrong; I’m not suggesting you get rid of the things you value most. In fact, quite the opposite: honor those items instead.

Here are some ways to show your valuables the respect they deserve:

• Keep your books out of damp basements and display them on tall bookcases, organized in a way that makes it easy for you to access them. Treat yourself to a beautiful step-stool to reach the top shelves.

• Gather only the most treasured toys, baby clothes and kids’ artwork and lovingly create a memory box for each child to keep these all in one place. Clean the baby clothes and wrap fragile items in tissue paper. Label boxes with child’s name. Another way to express this strong value is to start a journal where you can write motherly tips and memories that you can pass down to your children.

• Find a picture of yourself wearing your varsity jacket, or your prom dress, and put it in a nice frame. If you don’t have any photos, put it on now or lay it on your bed and take a picture of it for your album. Show your kids and share some stories from the old days.

• Choose the awards and trophies that mean the most to you and display them on a bookcase, shelf or mantel rather than shoving them in the corner of the spare room closet.

You see, decluttering and organizing your home is not about getting rid of everything. It’s about surrounding yourself with the things that speak to you, make you feel happy, and reflect the person that you are.

However…. (You knew this part was coming, right?)

I encourage you to limit how many of these things you keep; otherwise, they will go from being a joy to being a burden. Decide what you feel is a reasonable limit, and challenge yourself to stick to it.

Don’t forget to comment below on what you are attracted and attached to.

If you were a car, when would you say was the last time you had an oil change? 

Sadly, our bodies are not equipped with a warning light that comes on when there’s trouble.

I was speaking with a coaching client today* and she told me that when I introduced the idea of self-care to her, she was very resistant to it. She attributes that resistance to what she calls ‘being a victim of self-care marketing’.

Are you also a victim of self-care marketing?

In many advertisements, self-care is touted as a luxury (fancy spas, hot-stone massages) or an indulgence (gourmet chocolate, vintage wine). When my client realized that, she drew a very powerful distinction: self-care is not self-indulgence.

Self-care is not about spending money in excess. It’s not selfish or shameful. Sure, spas and gourmet chocolate can be part of self-care for special occasions, but for most of us, our lifestyle cannot sustain luxurious indulgences regularly. Self-care, on the other hand, is sustainable on a day-to-day basis; look at it as regular maintenance.

Self-care is about getting your needs met in all areas so you can function at your best. It can include something as simple as taking 5 minutes every hour to clear your thoughts and stretch your body.

One of the reasons I enjoy coaching is that I love to teach and I love to learn; my clients learn from me and I learn so much from them. This particular client used the car analogy to further explain what she learned through our coaching sessions:

When a car needs an oil change, no one stops to ask whether it deserves it – that would be preposterous. And yet, when it comes to our own maintenance, we question it. Are we pampering the car by giving it an oil change? Of course not. And yet, when it comes to day-to-day care, we give our cars more attention than we give ourselves. Some people even go one step further; they pull up beside someone else and give all their oil to them, draining their own supply.

The funny thing is that we can always trade-in our car for a new one, but our body, mind and spirit – well, we’re stuck with those for a lifetime. Doesn’t it make sense that we give ourselves at least the same amount of care as we give our cars?

Are you still hesitant to make your self-care a priority?

I’ve talked about the importance of self-care extensively in the past, in my blog, newsletter, articles, and on radio and TV; but until my client shared the distinction between self-care and self-indulgence, I just assumed everyone would understand the importance of self-care and engage in it. Now I’ve learned that many ‘givers’, those wonderful, caring, tireless people who are there for everyone in their world except themselves, may still be resisting the idea.

Are you a ‘giver’ to others?

If this sounds like you, I want to urge you to get past the idea that self-care is about self-indulgence and that it is above and beyond normal self-maintenance. And I also want to dispel the myth that giving to ourselves somehow takes away from someone else; it’s really quite the opposite.

If this distinction helped you get on board like it did my client, I encourage you to take the next step and start making small changes in how you show yourself that you care.

Please share, what’s one small change you can make or one action you can take today for your self-care?

*I have my client’s permission to share this story

Do you feel like you’re always rushing around in a high state of anxiety? Are you usually at least 5 minutes late for appointments because you lose track of time?

You are not alone. In an effort to be more productive, many busy people try to squeeze in just one more thing before they leave – myself included. But I’ve discovered a simple trick that prevents this problem:

Allow yourself time to transition from one activity to the next, so you can tie up loose ends and also get prepared for the next activity.

When my daughter was little, she loved spending time at the park. When it was time to leave, she would beg for one more push on the swing or one more ride down the slide. I would have to drag her away kicking and screaming. If you are a parent, maybe you’ve experienced this too.

Then I introduced transition time using the countdown method. I would say to her, “you have 5 minutes and then it’s time to go home for lunch”. I would remind her at 4 minutes, 3, 2, then 1 minute, and finally say, “Okay, time to go now.”

How does this example apply to us as adults?

Well, there’s still a little kid in all of us. We want to play; we have a few minutes to spare, so we see what’s happening on Twitter or update our Facebook status and, before we know it, we’ve lost track of time.

Or we want to get more done, so we say “Oh, I’ll just take a minute to empty the dishwashwer before I go.” or “I’ll just respond to this one email”. I’ve been there and you probably have too – it always takes longer than we think it will.

So how does the adult in us make sure that we get to where we’re going on time without rushing and stressing? Appeal to the kid in us of course:

Use a Simple Kitchen Gadget To Keep You on Time

So here’s the trick: 20 minutes before your ‘departure time’, set a countdown timer to create a sense of urgency. Set it for 10 minutes though, and start wrapping up what you are working on. When it goes off, it’s your signal to stop the activity. Now set it for another 10 minutes and start getting ready to leave (i.e. grab your purse/briefcase, put your coat and shoes on, etc.). If you are still there when the timer goes off again, it will be your que to leave immediately.

Most phones are equipped with countdown timers as well, so that’s another option; just make sure you can hear it when it goes off.

By the way, it’s always a good idea to plan on arriving at your destination 10-15 minutes early, to build a cushion for unexpected delays. You’ll arrive feeling calm and collected.

Try it and let me know how it works for you. If you have other tricks to being on time, please share them in the comments below. I would love to hear from you.

Look closely at this picture and you’ll see that the flower is growing between the cracks of the sidewalk.

What struck me, and prompted me to take the picture, was this flower’s will to survive, regardless of its circumstances.

I thought, wow, if this flower can grow without soil, without being fed and watered, heck, without even being planted (or wanted) in the first place, then anything is possible. You just never know where you’ll find inspiration.

“Once you choose hope, anything’s possible”. ~Christopher Reeve

Sometimes in life we are tested, and we find ourselves in what seems like a hopeless situation. We just can’t see the light at the end of the tunnel and it’s so easy to give up. But if this flower can do that, imagine what we can do.

There are so many stories of ordinary people (and animals) that overcame extraordinary challenges and went on to make their unique contribution to the world, and I find them so inspiring. Yet, even this simple flower can provide a powerful message:

If life throws you a sucker punch out of left field and you feel like you just can’t get up, remember this flower. You can do it. Stay determined in spite of any roadblocks that lay ahead and you will succeed.

I believe there is always hope if you have a little faith in yourself.

If you want to see the tremendous power of faith, watch this video of the amazing two-legged dog that runs like a human, as featured on Oprah (warning: bring out the tissues).

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=yLCEn_GxxL4&feature=related

Let me know what you think.

In my last post, we talked about organizing a toy room. Now that you have put the time and energy into creating order in the playroom, you’ll want to make sure it stays that way.

Here are my tried and true tricks to maintaining order in what could become the messiest room in the house if ignored.

1. Have a 15-minute clean-up time every day and get the kids to buy in. Do not, I repeat, do not do it for them; independence and responsibility builds self-worth in children. Just teach them how to do it and then take the role of supervisor.
2. Provide lots of praise when children tidy up their toys. Give unexpected rewards when they’ve been doing the job consistently without having to be constantly reminded. They are more likely to continue and the habit will eventually become routine.
3. Use a timer and challenge them to beat their previous time; make it a game and bring in the element of fun.
4. Put on some of their favorite music to add an element of novelty.
5. Do your part to cut down on toy clutter. Loot bags brought home from birthday parties are usually big clutter culprits. For your child’s birthday parties, instead of handing out dollar store items that will end up on the floor, start a trend by giving $5 – $10 gift cards from book/music stores. Some families are choosing to donate the money to charity in the child’s name; run the idea by your children – they may surprise you, as children can be very generous.
6. When purchasing toys, choose those that stimulate imagination and creativity so children don’t lose interest. Examples: black board, art supplies and paper, instruments, dress-up clothes.
7. Request that family members and friends give your children the gift of an experience instead of a toy. This includes taking them to an amusement park, a movie, a concert, or paying for some music or sports lessons.

Life is busy and sometimes it seems easier to just do the clean-up ourselves. But by taking the time to teach our children how to keep their toys organized, we’ll be teaching them a valuable life skill and the whole family will enjoy the benefits of a tidy room for years to come.